And What, Pray Tell, Do You Say To That?

Do you think that people can be manipulative without actually knowing? To try and influence you so you can't possibly say no? Even your family, friends and loved ones? I used to not think so... but now... Hmm

When someone asks you to do something, say, let their girlfriend move into your house, even though you were so excited to have your OWN place and stop the sharehousing, and then ends the question with "its up to you but it would mean so much to me."

WHAT THE FRICK. How can I possibly refuse without sounding like a huge ogre who doesnt give a flying fart in space about your feelings?

So yet again, sacrificing personal preference for siblings. I was rather looking forward to living on my own. If I cleaned up before I left, it would be clean when I got home. If I buy food, its there when I get home. If I want to do something I dont have to run it by anyone.

About three quarters of the food in the house is mine. I brought it from my old house. All the furnature, bedding, sheets, towels, plates, cups and appliances are mine. I'm paying two thirds of the rent. The electricity is coming out of MY account. ARGHHHHH!

And then I get the little voice in my head, after my ranting and raving, that shames me for thinking such things and so selfishly... And I must admit there are some positives. Like I get to see my big brother more. But then again, he is A L W A Y S there. Gets there about 830 in the morning.. leaves about 2 the next morning. And theyre ALWAYS touching. I dont think itd bother me so much if Richard was here, but still...

But that brings me back to my origional thought... How do you refuse something like that. Easy. You dont. They have thought about it and worded it in a way that will make it so that you cannot refuse them. They have already made their decision and will say and do anything to convince you it is what you want to happen also.

Doesnt mean I like it. Doesnt mean I dont want to bash my head against the wall until i knock myself out.

But what can I do. I'm stuck with it. *Sigh*

Anyways,
Thanks for listening to my rants.

BionicWoman

When The Mocking Bird Wont Sing And The Diamond Ring Wont Shine...

Ahuh, And How Do i Make It Better?

Well hi there!!

I thought i'd put some of my thoughts down before they come up like word vomit and destroy everyone around me. If thats okay.

I've lately been sitting around pondering at night, due to lack of sleep which i'm thinking runs in the family at the moment...

How do I, who have never ever been bullied in my life (probably due to the awesomeness of having my dad as a teacher and an awesome big bro.. and being everyones friend) Help someone who has been bullied all their life?

I've been reading Jodi Picoult at the moment, and I guess reading it, and me being someone who when i read a book it litterially takes me right there, has set off so many warning bells in my head. In Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult, when did Clay stop being a little boy and start being a teenager / man with suicidal thoughts. Taking matters into his own hands to stop the hurt?
Most importantly, how do i stop this person from doing it? I dont want them to hurt anyone, but i also dont want them to hurt themselves.

I'm not really asking for you to solve my problems, and i doubt anyone is actually reading this anyway, but more just to get these thoughts out of my head before they make me so dizzy I fall off the edge of this cliff that is my life.

So, until next time my thoughts are spinning too fast for my mind,

Up Up and Away